Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
