Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
