Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
