This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
