I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
