I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
