Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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