I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
false alarm, still single
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
