dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
