Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
