I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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