Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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