i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize