i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
