Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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