This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
