smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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