I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
