just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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