I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
