its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
