porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
