Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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