I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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