Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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