Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
