Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
