It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
