This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
