I faked an abortion last night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
