Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
