My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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