So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ladies don't puke and tell
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
