I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I understand Curling. That high.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
