He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
