I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
