brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
