I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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