hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
