I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you traded sex for a burrito?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The best revenge is premature balding
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Text me some of your sweat
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
