Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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