I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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