I looked at my own cervix.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
