somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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