Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This is my gift to your gina
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
