We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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