so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
