It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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