I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
