Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
