**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i need an iv and a liver transplant
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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