the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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