I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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