yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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